Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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