She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
