oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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