that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
