I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
