Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
