I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sorry my hands just texted you
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The struggles of a small town man whore
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.