You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho