im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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