...so i touched it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
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And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong