I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
