I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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