That's intense
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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