Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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