At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
