My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
