I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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