I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
