ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
