That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Actions speak louder than pants.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
