Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Randomize
