What did we do last night that was yellow?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So much rum. So many feels.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
