i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize