Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
