Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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