I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
