She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
