i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
