I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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