She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
