U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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