I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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