Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize