Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
