I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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