Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
