I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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