Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
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Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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