Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
