would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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