stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
