Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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