1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
