He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
