Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
