I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
