Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
