Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
