we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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