Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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