all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
