Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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