God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
