he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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