Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i believe in u and ur pee
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