we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
