when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
