I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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