you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
