so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
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you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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