Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
