Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
