Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
