...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
